About a month ago I informed you about the "bottomization" of the gay man. I mentioned that due to the current overpopulation of bottoms top guys might have a ball, I also wrote that those same so-called active men have come to realize bottoms are getting the best end of it, making them consider to have a go at it as well. But that is for most easier said than done. Because let's face it, though there are certain pleasures to be expected with the act, bottoming isn't for everybody. Having written about the current movement however, made me feel a bit responsible towards the tops who would like to give bottoming a try. And so today I want to direct your attention to a book that recently hit the shelves by sex advice columnist and author Woody Miller: How to Bottom Like a Porn Star.
Let's face it, the anus is by definition an exit of the human body, not an entry. The set of muscles in that area is quiet strong and it takes some practice to put them to good use. In other words, to relax and enjoy. And there we have it: the "r-word". How can you relax yourself knowing something big and hard is about to enter a place that wasn't meant for it and, in most cases, is to small to receive. Telling yourself to relax, or worse, hearing your partner telling you to relax, only adds to the tension and if there is anything you don't need in the heat of the action, it is tension. Luckily for those in need for advise, Woody Miller has done some real research and developed a method which he named The Sexhalation Method, or, for the sake of keeping it simple, Sexhalation. Sexhalation is a new approach to sexual insertion which Woody developed with a team made up of a yoga guru, a psychologist specializing in respiratory psychophysiology and a colorectal specialist. Each specialist contributed their fact filled, field-tested views on relaxation theories, anatomy, pain and pleasure points and sexual responses, and by outing them together came up with a step-by-step system that, according to them, guarantees a most pleasurable bottoming experience. I won't go into too many details here because to would be too long, and not fair for mister Miller, but I do want to give you some bullet points that do not include telling yourself to relax by thinking nice thoughts.
There are 8 basic steps to follow, that you can easily practise yourself before indulging in the full bottoming act:
Step 1: Gently press your middle finger against your anus. Any other finger will do as well, but the middle finger is the longest and therefor the best for manipulation.
Step 2: Inhale to the count of 4 and squeeze your sphincter shut.
Step 3: Exhale to a count of 6 and release the sphincter.
Step 4: Repeat until you draw in your entire finger. There is no limitation in how many times you have to do the exercise. Simply take your time and don't stress.
Step 5: Gently probe with the inserted finger the anal wall upwards towards your navel. You need to be a bit careful here as you are searching for your prostate which is a sensitive gland.
Step 6: Find and trace the contours of your prostate. Take a little tour and use feather-light touches. Stroke it and experience how it feels. Don't judge, just go with the flow.
Step 7: Once comfortable with locating and feeling your prostate you can slowly and softly start to massage it. Don't push too hard. Be firm but gentle.
Step 8: You have now boldly gone where no men has gone before and if you feel comfortable with it you can now repeat the previous steps and masturbate at the same time. You might not be hard the first few times, but once you get familiar with the feeling, that won't be a problem much longer.
Mind you, these are just the basics. But nevertheless a very good start. Basically all you need is to be curious and – well – relaxed. Woody Miller's book How to Bottom Like a Porn Star might not turn you into a power bottom, but it will certainly open doors for you that you knew existed. Excuse the pun. –BM-
If you want to read the full Sexhalation Method, check out Woody Miller's book How to Bottom Like a Porn Star. You can start reading it right now because it's a PDF that instantly downloads to your phone, tablet or computer.
Cover photography by Nige Rorbach.
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